willowene

Been back a week now from Colorado. 3 weeks was a bit too long but still had a good time with my sister and her family. The first week I had altitude sickness pretty bad. More like every other day. The day I wasn't sick we went higher up lol so the following day I was sick again. Went to the top of rockies, 12,960 ft. Went to Cheyenne,Wy and took a tour of the Terry Bison ranch, where they had a variety of animal like camels and beefalo's. Had a nice trip but I'm very happy to be back home.

I'm very excited about my upcoming vacation! So excited, I couldn't sleep! UGH.

I have not played WoW in almost 2 months and today I logged onto their website and read some of the forums. One of the forums was about what moments in WoW are the most memorable. People had all kinds of different answers. Tho alot had said they liked WoW alot more pre BC. I think those are the ones like myself who for us WoW was our first MMORPG and liked the "adventure" and actually having to figure out where things were at and figuring out how to defeat the bosses in the instances. Back then we didn't have the websites to go to tell us how to do them with hardly any losses of life. Meeting new people in this "new world" was also memorable for me. WoW was my escape for what was going on in my life at the time and I believe the people who were "friends" at that time saved me from anything "negative" that could have happened.

People are brought into our lives at certain times for whatever reason. I do believe it is destiny. After thinking about my first experiences in WoW, I was going through my dvd's and cd's and found my Stevie Nicks disc set. The discs are no longer in there, but in the back was The Beekeeper. I did not know Christopher had left that cd in there. Even tho he and I have moved on with our lives and our journeys and adventures are leading us in different paths he was at the start of my new life. Some of my memorable moments in WoW were spent with him.

My memorable moment? We'll always have the swamp.....

Will

since I've posted anything on here. I've mostly used this place as somewhere to write to my thoughts. Still in school but I'm only taking two classes. I have been side-tracked tho and it is difficult. I have a boyfriend now and he's wonderful. He is of course older than me, 12 years. Seems like that is the age group I like. He's stable, lived in Sitka most of life, worked the same job for most of his adult life, and this is something I feel I need; somone stable. He's not the main reason why my studies have slacked, they were slacking before. I feel I am burned out. I'm thinking about taking next semester off and starting back in the fall. I'm ready for a relationship now and I'm ready to focus more energy on myself too. Robbie and I are going on a vacation next fall. We're not sure which one we want to do...a cruise, or something we both find adventurous...starting in washington and biking down hwy 101 to calif. well, i'm just excited about this new relationship. he's just simply wonderful and goes out of his way to make me happy. nothing is a bother to him. lol I have been given so many gifts in the last 2 months my room is filling up with fairies, flowers, dragons etc...stuff that i like. well, enough of my ranting. I am tired..12 hour work days will do that to ya! hehe

IS FUCKING OVER!!!! YAY! WOOOO!!! DOIN THE HAPPY DANCE!

I'm rather happy about it if you can't tell hehe. This means that for the next month I don't have to worry, think or anything about school...OMFG!


Huggles

Hi to Sil,MidKitty, and to whoever else, I'm updating-sorta. Now that I have some local vocals on my "myspace", whatever I write just doesn't seem too private anymore. Anyways, I'm totally done with Math and English. 16 page research paper wiped my ass big time. Ugh..but so glad it is over. My English teacher gave us our book to read over the break. She didn't have to, but she's being nice to those of us who are taking 14 credits next semester. Anywho..the book is called The Foutainhead. It is suppose to be good. So we'll see. The psych teach put the wrong test out, so we now have another week to take it. Which is great, because now I can totally focus on Anatomy and Physiology.

Ok, I've babbled and gotten that crap off my chest.

Love to you both

just an update for the peeps out there. thursday i start college. a and p, psych, english and math. i'm not working at the hospital anymore. feels great not to be working nights. had my first good sleep last night and it was wonderful. working part time for c.f.c., home health stuff. my time for La La land has ended. i no longer think of maybe's, what if's and somedays. i live for now, live for my family and live to make our lives better. my older children are almost grown. soon (within the next 10 years) they will have families of their own and i'd like to be financially able to help them out and financially able to buy stuff for my grandchildren! =D yes, i'm a realist. once in awhile i do slip in my own la la land, but i'm afraid if i do that while i'm in school i will fail in my education. you will find willow on wow, but only there will willow be. reality and la la land have to remain seperate for me.

for dani...life is tough, but it's only as tough as we make it. it's up to us to make our lives better, not others. a lover can't make you happy until you are happy with yourself. no one deserves abuse, be it physical or mental ..mental being the worst kind. it's ok to focus on yourself, we find ourselves when others aren't there to influence us.

for christopher...my life is busy right now. you will see me on wow, but i'll be willow. wow will be my escape when i need it. you don't need/want carrie but you need/want willow. you live and need la la to survive, but i don't. the big gap that seperates us. i realize now that what we had was our world that we had made up together. as i told dani, you need to find your own happiness and your own place in this world. you could/can accomplish so much if you would just do it. you are intelligent and yet you are your own worst enemy and you keep yourself held back.

for my ec friends...i like to think ayla has helped me to be strong. i have these books since high school. she was with me in the darkest of winters here in alaska. was with me when i went out in cold weather thinking i was on some great adventure. keep dreaming about her, she gives us strength lol and hope we'll find our own jondalar =D.


ta ta peeps!

A huge change from the hospital environment. WOW

I can tell they will try to work me 8 hours a day. CFC is need of some more help. I may do some 8 hour days. MONEY rules my world right now. It's totally the anti-christ..I'm now convinced of that. PROVE me wrong SIL..ya I'm talking to you! ( you know I love ya! ) Anyways, it was pretty laid back. We went to one clients home, was only there for maybe 30 mins. Just had to wash his arms and face, then brush his hair. I take care of his mom at the hospital. Sooo yeah, it's totally different. More laid back. We'll see how I feel at the end of the summer ;p.

I was suppose to start my second job today but paperwork technicalities got in the way. Sooo on Monday I start. I know that's my usual night/day off but this next week is all orientation and training to my new clients. I think this will be a welcome change from the hospital. Some what laid back. Seems like the money I'll make with this second is already gone. But it's all for the good.

Josh will be coming here the first part of June. I'm glad we got James a phone but now I know just how things have been going. Because they have no phone Josh has been skipping school. So the school can't call to inform Jim and the boys check the mail. You'd think their dad would think to give the school his cell phone. Anyways..long story short..Josh needs to be here for awhile. Papa will whip him into shape. Lots of fishing to do this summer and of course camping. And just being able to be a kid. He'll be here in time to be in the king salmon derby. Yay!! That's gonna be alot of fun! I hope we win the 10 grand =)

James is still James. He's back with his girlfriend so he's in puppy love heaven. He will come down after 4th of July. He's been working and seems to be ok. He calls now everyday at least twice daily. I believe the cell phone made him quite happy and the rest of us.

Kristina..well she's Kristina. She's pissed off at me because I won't let her use James phone to talk to her dad. I'm sorry, but I feel that if I can go out of my way..such as calling the boys school, calling neighbors and then getting them a cell phone so we could call each other then her dad should do the same thing on his dime not mine. I told her than when she got her cell phone she could call him up and talk to him the same way she's been talking to me. But I'm not the bad guy here and she needed to stop taking her anger out on me. Co workers tell me she'll see the light in her early twenties. She's just at the age of trying to grow up and dealing with alot of hurt. But through it all she's accomplished alot. She's a published poet now and she's very proud of herself and I'm proud of her. She came in second place in a writing contest her school had. She now has two part time jobs lined up for the summer and they are both something she'd enjoy working at. The quilt shop did hire her so she's looking forward to free sewing lessons and discounts on fabric. She's a smart talented girl, taught herself how to sew and knit. If her dad doesn't care to know how she's doing then it's his loss..big time..and I'm happy that I can see and witness all her accomplishments. Soo I must have been a bad single mom these last few years. But geez! I can't wait for her to grow up lol.

Isaiah is doing well. Looking forward to school being out. He spends alot of time over at my parents. All his friends from school live on their block. He went with me again yesterday to a meeting at my work. He sits with the residents and reads to them while I'm in the meeting. The ward clerk told me she put his name in for employee/volunteer of the month lol. That would be so cute to see his picture on the front of the hospitals newsletter lol. The ward clerk said he chatted it up big time with our newest resident. He's got MS and is a quad. Only part of his body that moves is his head. So I'm pretty proud that he was not intimidated by the residents big wheelchair and head having to be strapped down to keep it in place.

And me..well it's going lol. I keep telling myself that in 4-5 years everything will be calm. The older kids will be grown and who knows I might even be a granny by then. I'll be done with the worries of school and 40! lol..ewww that doesn't sound well. ewwwww! christopher will be 52..nursing home time for him ;p lmao..you know I love you..lol old fartness and all ;p lmao..ewww lmao..I'm in so much trouble now

Night Night

You are a Dark Red Rose

You represent unconscious beauty and deep passion. Your vibe: sophisticated and worldly Falling in love with you is: wildly carnal and forbidden

Makes sense. Have lived on the western side all my life. =D

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Gamer/Computer Nerd   You enjoy the visual stimulants of a video game, chatting on AIM, or reading online comics. Most of these types of nerds are considered dirty who lack hygeine, of course they always end up being the ones who make a crapload of money. And don't worry, that's just a stereotype; I'm not calling you dirty. ^_~
Science/Math Nerd
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Literature Nerd
Anime Nerd
Musician
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

I gotta admit, this has been a good night. No kids to bother me, it's been quiet, did some cleaning up, and played wow aaaaall night long with no interruptions! Now my coffee is brewing and I'm getting ready for my day. =D it's been awesome!

I couldn't figure out how to just post so you, christopher, could just read what i just posted. So only you and dani can read it anyways. I was reading an interesting book last night. thought i'd type/copy to you. Might be helpful, might not. Let me know. I can continue to type/copy to you from it to help you out. The Hobbit i put in there myself, something to inspire you, I guess. Love ya honey! Hugs!

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

BIG DAMN SIGH! I need a second job if I'm to take Isaiah to Kentucky this summer. Almost 900 per person to fly there. Then another 400 for a car. Of course I need spending money =D. I know I could have enough for just me. But it's important that Isaiah goes too. I want to see how he likes Kentucky. I'll figure something out.

As you can see I've started my LJ over. It was rather depressing. I live with my crap everyday, so I'm going to make this my escape. I might add my depressing life crap, but it will be under private or I might want someone's opinion. I may just write about the weather, who knows, but I'm going to try to stay away from writing about the kids and my X. Sooo toodles, Love to my very few friends on here lol.